Life is too short to tolerate jerks. So when we opened for business, it became my personal mission to educate our customers on acceptable behavior. My main teaching tool was (and still is) a list of house rules called, “Stuff You Really Need To Know.” I didn’t want anyone to overlook them, so I printed them right on the front of our menu. Even though we’ve maintained these no-nonsense policies for well over 20 years, demanding dimwits sometimes still accidently stumble into The Vortex. But the vast majority of our patrons are pretty damn awesome, so my efforts have obviously not been in vain.
The truth is, our loyal fans have always known how to behave appropriately in a bar. They didn’t need our rules for that. But they sure do appreciate the fact that we post them. In fact, they welcome all our efforts to keep The Vortex an official “Idiot-Free Zone,” because it just creates a better experience for everyone. Except for the idiots, of course. Over the years, many of my colleagues in the bar business have personally thanked me for creating this list. No shit. They really have. Anyone that has ever worked in the service industry will totally understand why.
This overwhelming show of appreciation warms my icy black heart. So much so, I plan on producing a new podcast to help keep the conversation going. The podcast, which we’ll call “Tales From The Vortex,” will offer candid discussions on a broad range of topics related to the bar business. We also plan on featuring a wide array of special guests, including servers and bartenders, restaurant owners, chefs, foodies, barflies, local celebrities and all sorts of people who can offer their own unique perspective on the hospitality industry. We hope it becomes another fun outlet to share ridiculous Vortex stories with our fans. Needless to say, drinking while listening will be highly encouraged.